Quite a while back (I've been busy), we had a mock-exam practical test in the chemistry lab, and we had ammonia as one of the compounds. Now we all know ammonia smells like concentrated urine that has been left to fester for several weeks, so inside the lab was this sinus-destroying stench of urine as we were testing for gas. Out of nowhere, the lab filled with the smell of sewage, and everyone started staggering about in dismay.

'T'cher, why the gas test so smelly one?'
"I don't know, its not supposed to be this smelly =/"

Eventually it got so bad this guy ran over to the window and threw it open, and got promptly knocked back by a solid wall of stench. He couldn't have reeled back further if he had been hit by a hadoken from Muhammad Ali. Turns out there was this big honkin' sewage truck parked right below our lab; so inside our lab was this acidic smell of urine, and outside was a soul-darkening stench of crap. It was so bad even the roaches died.

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. I'm in the computer lab enjoy air-con and playing COD4, GOW, and many more. and where is vern? IN CLASSSS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. (yan ting laughing oso.)



-BY YOU KNOW WHO. D E R Y O H . H A H A H A H A H A H A H A H A

Lying down is the recommended position for sleeping. The torso should be kept parallel to the surface it is lying on, and maintain constant contact. The head should not be elevated more than 45 degrees, and if possible, avoid lying on the limbs of the body to ensure proper circulation. To facilitate proper respiratory functions, do not sleep with a pillow covering the face and/or sleep face-down. If you follow these guidelines for the proper use of a Mattress, we guarantee that your sleeping experience will be an optimal and satisfactory one, and we hope you will wish to repeat the experience.

Yes, I came up with that myself. Someone should print it on beds and mattresses haha. 'Guidelines for the proper use of somnambular facilities'. Also, today, we had captain's ball with respectively, a chicken, a cuttlefish, a cabbage, and a stick of butter. A thoroughly disgusting and tiring game, yet strangely fun. Also, I recommend Sandstorm, by Darude, for anyone who likes trance or a catchy beat. The hour is now 12.34am as of when I looked at the clock. 12.35am. Bah. To the bedmobile. (Remind me to write about bloodsport the next time I sign in.)

Lately, its been PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. Actually no, not really. I sit here, writing this at 2.49am, groggy from lack of sleep and high on karaoke. The past three days have been trying: staying awake till 4am each night to make sure your torrents are in order is no joke. But it has been worth it *has all the Lucky Star character albums now*. And then there was Mother's Day, where I was considering getting my mother Grand Theft Auto IV, but then I had an epiphany: I has no three-sixty. So we settled for a chocolate sponge cake with chocolate icing and breaded crumbs (or crumbled bread?), which I fully anticipate to be delicious. Such a cake can be bought at kovan for $18, and not at Prima Deli. Along the walkway facing the old bus bay, shop name is DJ Bakery. Quite a feat considering my sister and I managed to rush out and get it and a blouse, in the space of time that my mother took to go out and come back. We should be a rapid response team, dammit. And I just found out that my Chinese O Levels start in two weeks. Talk about a damper on the 4-day holiday after exams. (On a side note, for some reason, Iron Man really reminds me of the Tin Woodsman from The Wizard of Oz if he was more badass. Maybe if the Wizard of Oz had given the Tin Woodsman an Arc Reactor for a heart he wouldn't have gotten his ass handed to him by flying monkeys.)

About that case of the Austrian gramps keeping his daughter in his basement for over two decaces, the Austrian government (or was it the tabloid?) decried the citizens, saying they should feel ashamed of themselves for not detecting such a heinous crime among them, in their neighbourhood. Hell man, tad unreasonable demand, don't you think? Its not everyday you see someone locking his daughter up for 24 years and fathering 7 children with her. While its admittedly a crime for which he should have his gonads soaked in boiling water while he's awake, its not like you go around thinking: "Oh, there goes Mr. Fritz, what a lovely man. *smile, wave* He looks just like the type to lock his offspring in his basement for over two decades and rape her repeatedly. See you tomorrow Mr. Fritz!" Just doesn't happen. If I knew someone who can actually conceive the suspicion that anyone would do that, I'd stay the hell away from that person too. And Heaven forbid our society ever reach that level where incarceration, and incestual rape become plausible suspicions.

You would hardly know this was a guy's blog, to look at it. Of course, girls don't seem to listen to such tasteful music. Its the exams now, and I'm starting to feel the vague stirrings of worry, which is a good sign. Hopefully I'll be GALVANISED~ YEAH!~ to do some work before the O levels and score well, and give my maths teacher cardiac arrest by getting an A1 in maths. And then we had our english paper yesterday. Question 3 was: "Erik began attacking mountains in his early 20s" Explain what the author is emphasising, with special reference to the word in italics. I wrote: "The author is emphasising Erik's arrogance and instability, attacking colossal monuments to the might of Mother Nature, pitting himself against the very forces of creation in fits of insanity." Hope its correct.

As for the dating sim:


Damn I'm good.

I think if my Chinese teacher knew I was playing dating sims to improve my Chinese, he'd have a fit. But its actually pretty awesome. If no one is going to use textbooks anymore anyway, Chinese class should be devoted to playing dating sims. What's even more impressive is that I understand what's going on, and its all in traditional chinese, which makes it hard as..I don't know. And because I didn't install Applocale yet, the installation's chinese words couldn't appear, so I navigated my way through the installation on the strength of question marks.

"??? ????? ?????? ??? ?????? ???? ???? ???"
"????" "???"

Also, I found this awesome site: http://miatimpano.wordpress.com/2007/08/23/my-environmental-crime/#more-56 here's one of her articles


Who chose Ronald McDonald as the spokes-clown for Clean Up Australia Day? Because, fuck, that was some solid gold marketing. “Okay guys, we need to connect with the Australian public, I’m thinking deranged American burger clown?” Yes! Slay us all with the power of burger clown! Finally, someone who speaks to us! Command me, burger clown! You really make me want to touch garbage. No, wait, the other thing — DRINK YOUR BLOOD.
I would sincerely like to stab Ronald McDonald in the arse, then kill him. Then leave his corpse rotting in whichever government department approved that campaign, as a reminder — do better or die. Considering we now have more marketers than we have shit to market, I don’t think this is unreasonable.
We are bleeding our earth host to death — to death — and our collective heroes are burger clown, his friend Grimace the purple cyst, and now “Nugget the Echidna” (his actual name) star of the “You’re gonna get stung” campaign, in which Nugget runs along the highway, fires garbage at motorists, screams, then performs some kind of private dance. In this case, marketers have combined two winning elements — talking animals and unsolicited violence. They also gave him a name synonymous with turd.
I sincerely hope someone was fired for that, or at the very least beaten. Our earth host decays while tax-payer money bankrolls the animation of Nugget, essentially a dancing arsehole. It is true; we need a hero. Captain Planet? He’s a hero. Gonna take pollution down to zero. Gonna help him put asunder bad guys who like to loot and plunder. You’ll pay for this, Captain Planet! [etc. etc., skip to chant] Looting and polluting is not the way, hear what Captain Planet has to say: THE POWER IS YOOOOUURRS!
Yes, excellent, the power is mine. Thank you, Planet! Please, be more vague. That said, I like this “looting” angle you work. Also “plundering”. My own environmental crime is not dissimilar; I litter. Receipts, mainly, but also ticket stubs, serviettes — sometimes crumbs. In my defense, I do not print anything, I never drive, and to save water I shit in the garden. No, this is a lie. I of course use the bowl.
I litter for the same reason that I do not clean my room or press my socks or fold my pantaloons into little squares — I don’t care. I love piggery. I love to smash glass. I love to kick things that don’t belong to me. I love to fire shit into the air and never find it again. I am an “extreme” demographic, identified by the government as “willfully arrogant”, an “anti-establishment litterer who [is] aware that littering is anti-social, but [has] no desire or capacity to change because of peer pressure and broader social problems”.
Then again, there are ways even an “anti-establishment litterer” such as myself can dispose of garbage, and still kick up one’s “willfully arrogant” heels.
1. Throw your litter at someone else. Scream, “Catch!” It’s their problem now legally.
2. Dump your garbage collection onto plates at restaurants. Waiters are required to remove it by law.
3. Thrust your tissues in other people’s pockets. This can be achieved through the “Look over there!” technique. If they question why your used tissue now dangles from their breast pocket, say, “When god closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.” It will explain nothing, but will allow a moment of confusion in which to run away, screaming.
In the past week, I have tried these measures and found them both amusing to me and irritating to others. Go planet. Truly, the power is mine.